- Three rows, seats seven — Rayo counted the seatbelts personally, twice, out of professional caution
- 8,200 lbs towing capacity, which Rayo notes is roughly the weight of everything he owns, several times over
- Starts at $78,900. As-shown, with the Summit package, $96,400
- HorSe calls the third row "adult-usable." Rayo, who is an adult, tested this claim and has thoughts
- Fourteen cup holders total, which Rayo counted specifically to check whether a full carpool of juice boxes and sippy cups could be accommodated without a seating chart
- Assembled in the United States — the first hard fact about this car Rayo could confirm without asking twice
I was sent to evaluate a seven-seat SUV. I do not know seven people I would put in a car together at once, and I include myself generously in that headcount as only one of the seven. I climbed into the third row anyway, because the assignment required it.
THE EXTERIORBig Enough to Have Its Own Weather
The Summit H is 204 inches long, 78 inches wide, and tall enough that I needed a small step to see the roof rails properly. HorSe calls the shape "commanding." I call it "larger than my previous apartment," which is a fact I can verify, because I once measured that apartment for an unrelated reason.
There is a running board. I used it. I am not embarrassed to say I used it, because the alternative was a maneuver I did not trust myself to complete gracefully in front of a HorSe representative holding a clipboard.
I asked how a child under four feet tall is meant to get into row two unassisted. The representative said "most families use the running board." I have used the running board. I am an adult. I still nearly needed a hand. This car should come with a small ladder included, standard, no package required.
THE INTERIORThree Rows, One of Them Optional in Spirit
Rows one and two are, by any measure I can offer, very comfortable. Row three is where HorSe's marketing and my knees had a disagreement. I fit. I would not say I thrived.
There is a household outlet in the third row, presumably so the occupant can plug something in and forget, briefly, where they are sitting. I also counted fourteen cup holders across three rows, which by my math is enough juice boxes and sippy cups for a small carpool, with two to spare for whoever is brave enough to bring a hot coffee into row three.
THE NUMBERSNumbers That Suggest This Could Pull a Boat
450 horsepower and 8,200 pounds of towing capacity. I do not own a boat, a trailer, or anything on wheels besides a rolling suitcase, which weighs, generously, nine pounds.
Zero to sixty comes in 5.6 seconds, which HorSe's engineer described as "confident for the class." I confirmed I understood "the class" referred to other large SUVs and not, as I briefly assumed, a school course I had missed.
Someone mentioned second-row captain's chairs "for the family road trip." I have taken exactly one road trip, on a bus, to visit a cousin. It went fine.
The Summit package is $13,500 extra. I priced out what that gets a bus rider: roughly four thousand, nine hundred rides, which is more trips than I will take in this lifetime.
As-shown runs to $96,400 with the Summit package added, which includes a third-row that HorSe insists is for adults.
Questions people actually ask
Did Rayo drive the HorSe Summit H?
No. Rayo has never driven a vehicle this large, or any vehicle, on purpose.
Is the HorSe Summit H quick / efficient / good, per its category?
By every published account, yes, for the class. Rayo's only towed object is a suitcase and declines to compare further.
Is this car worth $78,900?
That depends on how many people you regularly need to seat and whether any of them are Rayo, who would prefer row two.
Rayo cannot evaluate towing capacity, because Rayo has never towed anything heavier than a rolling suitcase. Rayo can confirm the third row technically seats an adult, and that the adult in question would like it on record that he did not enjoy it.
This article is 100% fictional satire. The HorSe Summit H is not a real vehicle.
