- 2.7 seconds to 60, top speed near 211 mph — numbers Rayo can now confirm at least partially from lived, regrettable experience
- Starts at $238,000, the most expensive car Rayo has been assigned, a fact that visibly unsettled him on arrival
- As-shown, with the Track Package and carbon ceramics, $278,000
- Rayo rode along with an assigned Parkreas test driver and passed out somewhere around 80 mph; he required a change of clothes afterward
- Assembled in the United Kingdom — the first hard fact about this car Rayo could confirm without asking twice
I was not handed the keys to this one. I was handed a helmet, buckled into the passenger seat by someone who does this professionally, and driven around a closed track by an assigned Parkreas test driver while I attempted, and failed, to remain conscious for the entire lap. I am told I passed out somewhere around 80 mph on the back straight. I woke up in the paddock. I had to go change afterward. I am not being figurative about that.
THE EXTERIORLow, Wide, and Not Built With Me in Mind
The PR-9 is 43 inches tall at the roofline, which meant I did not sit into the car so much as descend into it, slowly, using the doorframe for support and dignity in roughly equal measure.
The rear wing is adjustable. Someone offered to explain how. I said I believed them without the explanation, and we both seemed relieved.
I asked what the car was for, specifically, since I could not picture a version of my life that required it. The representative said "track days." This was, unfortunately, foreshadowing.
THE INTERIORA Cockpit, Not a Cabin
Parkreas does not call this an interior. Their materials say "cockpit," and having sat in it, I understand the distinction. There is very little room for anything that is not driving, including, at one point, my elbow.
There is a starter button under a red flip cover, like something from a film I have not seen but have definitely had described to me at a party. I did not press it. The assigned driver pressed it.
THE NUMBERSNumbers I Can Now Confirm From Direct, Regrettable Experience
820 horsepower, 2.7 seconds to sixty, a top speed near 211 mph. Unlike every other car in this assignment, I can confirm at least one of these figures personally: somewhere around 80 mph, on the back straight, my vision narrowed and I stopped being a reliable narrator of what happened next.
I am told the car did not exceed 90 mph during my specific lap, out of what I can only assume was mercy. I do not remember most of it. I remember gripping something. I remember the paddock. I remember being handed a bottle of water and, separately, a change of clothes, and being asked no further questions about it.
The Parkreas team was, to their credit, extremely kind about the whole thing. Someone suggested that future assignments for me might be better suited to a parking lot, at low speed, practicing parking rather than lapping a circuit. I have never agreed with a suggestion faster.
At $238,000 base, this car costs more than two hundred thirty-seven years of my current bus pass. I did this math afterward, sitting down, once my vision had fully returned.
As-shown runs to $278,000 with the Track Package and carbon-ceramic brakes, none of which Rayo touched.
Questions people actually ask
Did Rayo drive the Parkreas PR-9?
No. Rayo was a passenger with an assigned Parkreas test driver, and briefly stopped being a conscious passenger as well.
Is the Parkreas PR-9 quick / efficient / good, per its category?
By every account from people qualified to judge, extremely — and Rayo can now personally confirm it felt extremely fast, right up until he passed out around 80 mph.
Is this car worth $238,000?
That depends on your relationship with race tracks and your tolerance for passing out on them. Rayo recommends a parking lot instead.
Rayo cannot evaluate the Parkreas PR-9 as a driver's car, because Rayo was a passenger, briefly unconscious, for the relevant portion of the test. Rayo can confirm it is very fast, very low, and that he would like his next automotive assignment to take place in a parking lot, at a speed suitable for practicing parking.
This article is 100% fictional satire. The Parkreas PR-9 is not a real vehicle.
